You MIGHT Be a Bad Cook If....

You Might Be a Bad Cook If...

• Your microwave display reads "TILT!"
• You know dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.
• Your dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.
• Your leftover crumbs make a great replacement for kitty litter.
• Your kids know what exactly peas porridge in a crock pot, nine days old tastes like.
• Your family automatically heads for the dinner table every time they hear a fire truck siren.
• Your family is really interested in going to that restaurant that can't ever pass the Health Inspection.
• If the EPA requires that all your garbage cans be marked with large bright red "BIOHAZARD" symbols.
• When you barbecue two of the children stand by with water hoses while the other holds the phone with 911 on speed dial.
• Pest control companies keep approaching you to buy and patent your recipe for Christmas cookies..
• The smoke alarm beeps if you even walk near the stove.
• Your family buys Rolaids, Tums and Pepto Bismol in bulk..
• Loaves of your homemade bread are commonly used as doorstops.
• The last time you tried to make toast, the kitchen caught on fire.
• Your apple pie bubbled over and ate the enamel off the bottom of the oven.
• You make tuna noodle casserole surprise and...SURPRISE, it glows in the dark!
• Your tuna noodle broccoli surprise melts plastic and silverware.
• You used three boxes of scouring pads, a bottle of Drano and a crowbar and still can't get the mac & cheese to let go of the pan!
• You look in a cookbook to find a recipe for boiling water.
• You call your mother to find out how long to boil the cabbage when making coleslaw.
• If anyone has ever broken a tooth while eating your homemade yogurt.
• The family pets are no where to be found during dinner.

Anything sound familiar?! :)