Peculiar Things to Do At---#2

"WAITER, THERE'S A FLY IN MY SOUP!"



Peculiar Things to Do At a Restaurant:

1. When the waiter is at your table “accidentally” drop all your silver ware on their feet. When they go to give it back say “Hey! Don't steal my silver ware! What kind of place is this, anyways?” Then snatch it out of their hands. 
2. Ask if they can wrap you up a drink to go.
3. When the check arrives, ask if you can sign it in a macaroni-yellow colored crayon. Ask if they can bring a sharpener to the table with that.
4. When the waiter says “Are you ready to order?” Be the first to shout “YES!” and then take the longest time to actually make up your mind.
5. Give them quizzes about the foods on the menu, act like you’re an expert. (Ex: “Wrong! Actually, the Asiago has a little sharper taste than the Parmesan! Now, moving on to the salad dressings…”)
6. Hand-Make a coupon. Then hold it up and ask them if it’s still usable, you think the expiration date may be bad.
7. When the waiter comes back, ask if they have a “lavatory” in the building in a proper English voice. Then when they tell you where it is, slide out of the booth and whisper in their ear in a 5 year old voice “I has to go BAD!”
8. Act shy. Don’t answer or look at the waiter the whole time. When asked what you would like to eat, whisper what you want in someone else’s ear and have them order for you.
9. Ask them if you can tell them a joke. Say “Ok, pretend I’m the waiter and you are the customer. Say “Waiter, this soup tastes funny to me!”” After they say that, respond “Then why aren’t you laughing?” Crack up hilariously, and say “Oh, that was a knee-slapper!” and slap your knee.
10. When the waiter says “Hello, I am ____ and I will be your server today.” say that they used incorrect grammar and go off teaching them about what a preposition is. Don’t let them interrupt you.
11. Pretend to be a foreigner and use broken English to order your food. Use the wrong words for everything. (Ex: “Yes, hello, I would alike some….uh….oh, thems hot cats with tuna butter and…uhh…some of the….uh, liquid powder.)
12. When the waitress comes to your table with the drinks, jump to grab yours and knock your silverware off the table.
13. Drop your fork onto the floor beside you. Then bend down to get it and slam your knee against the top of the table, giving the effect that it was your head. Then come up clutching your head and yelling.  
14. Cough at people with a mean look
15. At a fancy restaurant, chew your ice very loudly with your mouth open. Try to get pieces of ice to fly out onto the table.
16. Tell them you disapprove of their bread choice in a haughty manner and go off on a tangent about how “healthy” bread should have at least nine grains in it.
17. Go into a fancy restaurant and pretend you just got back from the dentist and he had just given you tons of Novocain.
18. Flirt with a waiter/waitress of the opposite sex very annoyingly and try to get free food. 
19. Take off your shoes and then put them neatly on the table beside you.
20. Order something and send the bill to a random person in the restaurant.
21. Go to a nice restaurant and sit down at a table alone. When the waitress comes to take your order, lean back in your chair, fall back, and take the table cloth with you. Then get up yelling and ask indignantly for a different chair because you think the one you sat in was defective.
22. Ask for a seat for your imaginary friend, “Bobo”.
23. Talk only in an Australian accent, addressing everyone as “Matey”.
24. Stare at a neighbor's food until they say something and then reply, "Oh don't mind me, I'm just looking for the piece of food that flew out of my mouth."
25. Burp the National Anthem, call anyone who objects unpatriotic.
26. Yell, "Oh no not now!" and make a mad dash to the bathroom.
27. Make obvious attempts to trip the waiters, (without actually tripping them, maintain some respect for their position) and snicker constantly.
28. Ask if the only dairy product in the chicken soup is chicken, or…?
29. Drum on every available surface.
30. Decline to be seated, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
31. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
32. Pretend to have fleas.

Have fun....! Oh yea, and if you get kicked out, it's not MY FAULT!
These are just suggestions, ya know?;)
--Cara