"Peculiar Things to do At---" #1

Hey to all the PECULIAR TREASURES out there!;) We know that our blog has NOT been up to par lately and I know I've been slacking as far as posting is concerned! SO, We revamped our site, tell us what you think of our new look! We made a new, more awesome playlist, and we're going to be adding some really awesome gadgets, funny games, and alot more funny posts! SO yea, here's to OUR NEW PECULIAR LOOK!;) So Monthly, I'm going to be putting up a "Peculiar things to do at..." List! The first one I'm going to post is Wal-Mart, since it's like America's most popular grocery store!;) So, I hope y'all enjoy!

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them, and stransing them at strategic locations.
2. Ride the little electronic carts at the front of the store. (Boy, do me and Kelsi EVER have experience with this one. I'll post the story about my stalker security guard boyfriend at the bottom of the list, it is QUITE funny!)
3. Start playing Calvinball, and see how many people you can get to join in.
4. Contaminate the entire department by sampling ALL of the spray air fresheners,
5. Challenge the other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
6. Re-Dress the mannequins as you see fit.
7. When there are people behind you, walk really slow, especially on narrow aisles.
8. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone "I think we've got a code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
9. Tune all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all off and turn the volumes up to "10".
10. Walk up to a complete stranger and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!" etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
11. Lie down in the middle of a very crowded aisle and start doing wierd excercises.
12. Dress up as a Super Hero, and tell all the kids on the candy aisle that it's free.
13. During Christmas rtime: Wear a Santa Hat, set up a tip can outside, ring a bell and act like your from the Salvation Army.
14. Act like you've never seen automatic doors before.
15. While walking through the clothing dept., ask loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk, anyways?"
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store, and when employees stop you, explain you work at a bike shop and were just taking it for a test drive.
17. Follow people through the aisles, only staying about five feet away. Contine to do so until they leave the department.
18. Go to Customer Service, and when they ask to help you, insist that the cashier on number 12 is stalking you.
19. Play soccer with your friends, using the entire store as your playing field. It will make it almost impossible for the employees to kick you out.
20. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized, and say "Wow, Magic!"
21. Set up a tent in the camping dept., and yell to passersby that you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
22. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
23. Ask other customers if they have any Gray Poupon.
24. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!"
25. TP as much of the store as possible.
26. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
27. Play with the calculators so that they spell "Hello" upside down.
28. There's always the old "Dollar-on-a-string" trick!
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask "Why wont you people just leave me alone?"
30. Make up nonsense products, and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock. I.E.:"Do you have any Shnerplies here?"
31. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full scale battle field with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
32. Take bets from other customers on the battle described above.
33. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
34. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
35. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
36. Lie on a bench and cover yourself with a blanket. When the employees come to bother you, grunt and roll over so you don't face them. Continue until at risk of being carried and thrown out.
37. Say things like "Would you be so kind as to direct me to the Twinkies?"
38. Set up a legitimate looking "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
39. Two words: Marco Polo.
40. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, Pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
41. Bother the employees stocking the shelves. Ex: Stand close enough to them that they bump into you every time they turn to get something out of the box. Continually ask random questions about their life, all starting with "Sooo...."
42. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
43. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
44. Bring water guns, hide in the clothes, and squirt people's legs as they walk by.
45. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.
46. Drag a lounge chair and a magazine over to McDonalds, Subway, whatever happens to be in your walmart, and relax. Get up to go order a drink, explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it for you.
47. Put/Balance random items on your head and walk around the store casually.
48. Put funny signs in the hands of the mannequins.
49. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in cosmetics.
50. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling "RED ROVER!"
51. Look right into the Security Caera and use it as a mirror for picking your nose.
52. While handling guns in the hunting dept., suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
53. While no one's watching, quickly switch the men and women's signs on the doors of the restrooms. (If this is not possible, just tape a fake sign over them.)
54. Hide in the clothing racks, and when people browse through, say things like "The fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing the clothes are talking to them.
55. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Ex: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying. "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved ME! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won! You kissed ME, darling!" Then throw yourself on the floor, screaming and having convulsions.
56. Go to an empty checkout stand and check people out.
57. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, Bessie! Good Girl!"
58. Go over to the shoe dept. and try on every pair of shoes without putting any of them back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it into various aisles.
59. In the makeup dept., spray yourself with every perfume imaginable, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and begin flirting in that annoying ditzy way. "Hi," (giggle) "What's your name?" (giggle)
60. In the food aisle, pretend like there's a little bug. Slowly move your head to the right, the swing to the left as if you're trying to follow it. Slowly lower yout head in circles and begin spinning around in circles, stomping like a herd of wild elephants. Then finally yell out "YES, I GOT IT! Wow, that was THE BIGGEST COCKROACH I had EVER seen!" Then proudly turn to passersby and tell them of your achievement.
61. Repeat the above with a can of bug spray.
62. Ride around on the electric carts, and pretend that you're a prissy English man. Say things like "Cheerio, Good Man!" and "It's a beautiful day for tea and crumpets, wot, wot?" to people who walk by. And don't forget to have perfect posture.
63. Start grunting while chasing your friends up and down the aisles, trying to run over them with the electric carts. Make sure and tell your friends to act like they don't know you.
64. Spend all of your money riding on those little rides for toddlers. Fit the character. If you're on a horse, then you're a cowboy/cowgirl, etc. And if a little kid comes over wanting to use it, yell at them until they leave, crying.
65. Have silly string fights with a bunch of friends. Hide behind customers and "accidentally" hit them instead of your friends.
66. Excessively use anything that says "Try Me!"
67. Start pocketing all the free samples.
68. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.
69. Walk up to the Customer Service desk and when they say, "Heloo, can I help you?" say "Yea, I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of fries and a diet," and then busy yourself getting your wallet out. When they start to talk, say, "Oh, to go". When they tell you they can't give it to you, Say "Oh, this is just because I'm (your ethnicity) isn't it? You know, I'd expect this from anywhere else but Wal-Mart! People who are (your ethnicity) are the same as everyone else, you know! You disgust me!" and walk away mumbling.
70. Start to madly scratch yourself, and walk up to people asking where the rash cream is because your family and all your friends seem to have a rash too.
71. Talk on the phone and when people walk by, say things loudly like "I know, the doctor says this H1N1 Is really contagious, I-I-A-ACHOO! (Sneeze in their direction)
72. When you're alone, have conversations with your "multiple personalities". Have a English man, a Southern person, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old girl at the same time. They should sound like this: "Great Idea, fellow, we shall have a jolly good time!" (English man). "Look, oall I wanna do, is wok ta Stawbucks and git a cawfee!" (New York) etc.
73. Start "dancing" like mad. Basically, just wail your arms and legs around like you're having some sort of massive seizure. Sing a fast song off-key if possible.
74. Try on crazy costumes and casually walk through the store.
75. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as you're walking through the doors, as if you're suspecting the alarms to go off. Then when it doesn’t go off, let out a big sigh. Then, quickly look around you to see who’s watching and run away as fast as you can.
76. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song.
77. Drop peculiar items in people's carts while they aren't looking.
78. When you're alone, start screaming that someone is trying to kidnap you. When a crowd gathers, start crying and say "All I ever wanted was a little attention!" and run off.
79. Walk over to the lamps, and spend a long time staring at the little blinking lights on the lava lamps. After a while, start saying blink everytime it blinks. Don’t look away, just stay mesmerized.
80. Walk up to a lady and calmly say “Help me. The voices in my head are telling me to do naughty things.” Then clap your hands over your ears, and start screaming“NO!!! I DON’T WANT TO HURT THE NICE LADY! NO, NO, NO!" and run off.
81. Walk up to someone and say “Oh, so you're back for more. I warned you never to come back here. Wait here while I go get my shot gun”. Then walk away.
82. Stand next to a mannequin and pretend that you're a mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible. Then finally, as someone is walking by, check yourwatch and say. “Finally, my shift is done. I really don’t get paid enough to do this”
83. Act like your about to cry and ask people “Have you seen my mommy?”
84. And Finally, Sing a crazy song or make a wierd announcement over the intercom. Something like "Attention all Wal-Mart customers! Go to the frozen goods now, where Linda is handing out FREE oscar mayer wieners!" Or you can sing like I did last week. Ray Stevens "Purple People Eater" went over great. And yea, there's a code to the intercom. And yea, I know it. BUT, I can't reveal ALL my secrets, you know!;)

*BONUS: DO ALL OF THE ABOVE IN ONE WAL-MART TRIP!:)

And now, for the stalker security guard boyfriend story!:) This is a good one, In fact I was on the phone with Kelsi as she was on her way to Youth tonight, and she had me on speakerphone. There were two other girls in the car, and I mentioned our stalker security guard boyfriend and they started DYING! I guess it does sound kind of funny? LOL!:)


So, I hadn't been to visit Kelsi in almost a YEAR! But, I got to see her, and we spent alot of time together. (For anyone that does not know, let me clarify now. My sister married Kelsi's brother. So her brother is also my brother-in-law! So me and my family were out visiting my sister and my brother in law!) So one night, My Mom, my sister Shanelle, Kelsi, and I went to Wal-Mart! AS soon as we got in, I immediately told Kelsi that I had discovered that the electric carts were like totally available for use! I mean, if they're stupid enough to ask what's wrong with you then they shouldn't be working there! If you really did have an ailment that would be a SUPER insensitive question to ask! ANYWAYS, so we like laughingly got on the carts and proceeded to do doughnuts and all kinds of cool tricks. Well, my Mom and Shanelle decided to act like they didn't know us and went back to the frozen foods, while Kelsi and I had a blast on the Candy Aisle. So, I had just ran into something and now I was backing up down the aisle while Kelsi sat there watching, and we're like DYING LAUGHING! Well this teenage kid wearing this white pullover sweater like walks down the aisle, and comes over to me and is like "Excuse me, but do you ladies actually need those carts? Cause' if you don't, I need you to return them." The first thought that ran through my mind was Oh brother, did I land myself in hokey-country-town or what? This kid obviously has nothing better to do than play policeman! So I promptly informed him that Yes, we were indeed very sick! And zoomed off down the aisle, leaving him standing there. AND HE LIKE STARTS FOLLOWING ME! And I so know it! And he decides he's going to like be slick or something so he like stays a good ten feet behind me and keeps hiding behind displays! I was likE SERIOUSLY! So I headed towards the frozen goods where my Mom and Shanelle were. Kelsi had gone there too, so she was there also. SO, we're like laughing and telling him the story, and Shanelle was like "What? How dare he ask that!" and then like his head pops out from behind this display behind me! HE WAS LIKE LISTENING to my conversation! Kelsi saw him and pointed him out, and Shanelle yelled loud enough for him to hear (WELL, I GUESS WE'RE GOING TO GO REPORT THAT SOMEONE'S FOLLOWING YOU AROUND THE STORE!) And I like started dying and making all these jokes about how he was a stalker and he just wanted to be my boyfriend. Well, we thought that scared him off. But apparently NOT! Because we're checking out, and he walks past us and out of the store at the same time! LIKE HE HAD BEEN FOLLOWING US AROUND THE STORE! Apparently just waiting for us to do something wrong? And I like pointed him out to the Cashier and was like "look, that guy was following me, he's stalking me!" and the Cashier got all indignant and was like "Ma'am, I'm sure he wasn't stalking you, that's our security guard!" and at this point im like trying not to laugh! But I finally recovered from the shock and from the laughter, and I was like "Oh, Well it sure would've been nice for him to just tell me that instead of stalking me and scaring me half to death!" and he was like "I'm sure he wasn't stalking you!" and I was like "Yep! He followed me around listening to my conversations! That's stalking!" and like my Mom and Shanelle were all like telling him what's what! HAHA! And Kelsi is just like DYING LAUGHING! So, THAT, my friends, is the story of my PECULIAR STALKER SECURITY GUARD BOYFRIEND! We went back a couple of times just to see if he was on duty and we could talk to him! But no luck...*sniff...* he was actually pretty good lookin! HAHAHAHAHAHA! ANYWAYS, if you try any of the things on the list above, PLEASE tell me how they go! I've done quite a few myself!:)


Till' next time! (Oh yea, and if you really want that Wal-Mart intercom code? Email me at ptreasures19.5@gmail.com)


--Cara