18 Ways to Confuse Trick-or-Treaters

It is INEVITABLE. You cannot avoid it. Once a year, in the month of October, greedy little monsters dressed in all sorts of extremely ridiculous costumes will knock on your door and demand candy. But what if you decided to do them a favor and not hand them something that's going to rot their little teeth out? Are you prepared?

Here are some ways to confuse the trick-or-treaters instead of willingly handing them candy bars and tootsie rolls:

1. Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand)
2. Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell “Trick or Treat!” Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused.
3. Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it, “Top Secret” in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously and say “It’s about time you got here,” give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door.
4. Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, “Come in.” When they do, have everyone yell, “Surprise!” Act like it’s a surprise party.
5. Get everyone that comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out what’s wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an unnatural “whirring” sound.
6. After you give them candy, hand the trick-or-treaters a bill.
7. Open the door dressed as a giant fish. Immediately collapse, and don’t move or say anything until the trick-or-treaters go away.
8. When you answer the door, hold up one candy bar, throw it out into the street, and yell, “Fight for it!”
9. When you answer the door, look at the trick-or-treaters, act shocked and scared, and start screaming your head off. Slam the door and run around the house, screaming, until they go away.
10. Insist that the trick-or-treaters do 10 push-ups each before giving them any candy.
11. Hand out menus to the trick-or-treaters and let them order their candy. Put random, confusing items on the menu.
12. Get a catapult. Sit on your porch and catapult pumpkins at anyone who comes within 50 yards of your house.
13. Leave a nearby window open, and when people come to your door, dive out of it into the bushes, and run away, screaming.
14. Answer the door dressed as a pilgrim. Stare at the trick-or-treaters for a moment, pretend to be confused, and start flipping through a calendar.
15. Instead of candy, give away colored eggs. If anyone protests, explain that the eggs are the only things you had left over from Easter.
16. Answer the door dressed as a dentist. Angrily give the trick-or-treaters a two-hour lecture on tooth decay.
17. Answer the door with a mouthful of M&M’s and several half eaten candy bars in your hands. Act surprised, and close the door. Open it in a few seconds, and insist that you don’t have any candy.
18. Open the door quickly and throw the candy at the trick-or-treaters, yelling as you do. Slam the door when you’re finished.